the straight gay guy

There's a guy at the gym who annoys me, but not much, mainly because he's not THAT much bigger than me, and is in denial about his homosexuality, so more than anything he makes me laugh.

I've seen this guy around a fair bit; at the shops, in town, at the gym (obviously), this is easy in a small city, and he stands out (to me) as he's relatively good looking, but this is waining. The first time I saw him I immediately thought 'gay' and 'you beauty, he's my type'. This was ground-breaking for two reasons;

1) My gaydar broke two life-times ago (it didn't 'break' as such, more it was beaten out of me; who'd have thought being a gay priest in Chicago in the 1800s would be frowned upon? These days it's the norm I hear).

2) There is an incredible lack of guys around here worthy of my attention.

Now, I've seen this guy at 'The Local Gay Bar' a number of times, and on several occasions he's been doing the dirty on a pole on the dance floor - albeit by himself, but ALWAYS looking around to see who's watching. Gay. Anyway, I know he's seen me watching, but the more I watched, the less I liked. Talk, dark, handsome, muscled (but not too much), but something was missing, so he never got me. Skip forward a few weeks, and there he is, at the gym, and there I am, watching him again, trying to figure out whats lacking, when suddenly his girlfriend walks up and starts talking to him. He's recognised me and saw the look on my face when she started talking to him; nothing exactly wrong with talking to a girl at the gym (sometimes I wish I had someone/anyone to talk to) but from that moment on, he never left her side, and whenever I'd look anywhere near his direction, he'd grab her arm and kiss her. Like, all the time. Eight times in a 25 minute period. In the end I'd look over during one of his sets and catch his eye, just to put him off.

Obviously this guy is;

a) Paranoid that someone saw him at a gay bar
b) Paranoid about being stared at by a gay guy (but he loves dancing at a gay bar???)
c) Is in denial about his sexuality

To be honest I don't care. I'd given up on him well before he decided to no longer be gay. At least now I have a new game; Make The Straight Guy Squirm. I'm pretty good at this one.

He'll probably complain next week and I'll be asked to leave.

I bet she won't wear a strap-on even if/when he begs.

The major issue I have with all this is that it proves my gaydar IS actually broken.